The Power of Words
I’ve talked before about bullying in schools and how words do indeed have the power to hurt. If you are a parent of a school-aged child, you know the pain felt when bullying occurs. What’s great about martial arts techniques is that they give an individual the power to fight off an attacker. Through practicing and mastering martial arts techniques, one can gain confidence and security. However, no martial arts techniques can deflect hurtful words.
Verbal abuse and bullying is common among children as well as adults; and for that reason it is important that we all learn how to communicate effectively. It’s not difficult to pick up on verbal abuse. Any average person knows when words used against them don’t feel good. And if the words being spewed in your direction don’t feel good, you have the right to use verbal self defense. The art of verbal self defense is as important as anything you would learn on my self defense video.
Women must learn to use their words in a powerful way in order to alleviate situations that may lead to rape. The key in this situation is to say what you mean and say it firmly. The other key is that the body must follow the words. If a woman becomes uncomfortable during a date or social gathering, she has every right (and the responsibility) to protect herself before ever having to employ skills learned from a self defense video or rape clinic. The point is that words begin to work before you ever have to use your hands.
The word no means absolutely nothing if the body does not follow; and the tone is not firm. I hate to say it; but that’s the truth. When you say “No! Stop!”, your voice should be strong; you should believe what you are saying; and your hands should go up in protest. This delivers the undeniable statement that you mean business. There is no whining in self defense (just like there’s no crying in football); so work on
your tone and make sure you know how to use the strength needed to get your message across.
In terms of kids and bullying; the key is to teach kids what is really going on. A bully is trying to get a rise out of their opponent. If they cannot get that rise, they will likely move on to someone else. While your child will benefit from training with a self defense class or self defense video; he or she will also benefit greatly from understanding verbal abuse and learning how to deflate a verbal attack.
To help your child deal with verbal bullying, talk about the different scenarios they may experience at school. For instance, if a child were to say “I can’t believe you’re wearing that shirt! It’s so ugly!”; you can teach your child an impersonal response such as “some people don’t like stripes”.
A response to verbal abuse is necessary; and used correctly, verbal self defense can be highly effective at diffusing taunting and bullying. The more impersonal your child learns to be, the better they will be able to deal with assaults from words.
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